So you think you can watch “So You Think You Can Dance” without your remote control?

Then I have seven words and one awful sound for you:

“I think I hear a train coming! WoooooOOOOoooOOOoo!”

I have not been a follower of Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance” in the past, even though the subject matter—dancing—is right up my alley. My reason for this in the past has generally been the presence of Mary Murphy, a woman so obnoxious, that even Paula Abdul at her most chemical-induced incoherence looks demure. I simply cannot stand her. It’s not that she’s a person you love to hate; she is person you just simply cannot abide. This is not mere enthusiasm on display, this is practiced, over-the-top, look-at-me obnoxiousness. Her voice, even when she is not screaming, is so unpleasant, it feels like you are hammering an ice pick into your ear drum. Then twisting it. I think rubbing ground glass into your eyeballs or sleeping on a bed of fiberglass would be less painful.

With my daughter manning the remote control through last night’s show, I think I’ve discovered a way to enjoy this year’s exceptionally deep talent pool without sacrificing my ears. Simply engage “mute” every time the comments come to Mary Murphy. Otherwise I'd be missing stuff like this: